2:18 PM: my pc is slow as shit. i don’t know why. i talked to Bonnie today! woohoo! she’s doing well. she’s having fun. it’s just hot there. ( i don’t know where it isn’t hot). anyway. she’s going to call again :) i can’t wait. so anyway. i’ve been up for a while. i need to take a shower and shit (not shit). i don’t know if i’m going to do anything today. probally not. i never do anything. tomorrow i’m going to my sis’s. then we’re going to some garden for her birthday. whoopy fucking do. it’s going to be hot shit. i don’ t feel like going. but of course, i have to. so anyway. that’s bout it. i’m on the medium lvls for The Incredible Machine :) woohoo. it’s getting hard. i can’t stop playing it. o well. so that’s it. o, before i go. no one says G~Night to me. or even bye. adam just left. jaed didn’t say bye when i said it. josh just said that this was a great converstation and left. no one cares for me :( o well. i’m used to it. 2:55 PM: i appologize for that shitty update. i just took a shower and i’m ready to type. well, i had two dreams last night: one, josh, lee and i were captured were in the prison like thing. so we were going to escapce. funny shit man. it was a kick ass dream. then i had the good good dream. i was at Bonnie’s house. (well, it was my cousin’s house. but a fucked up version of it. it’s where i have my dreams of places i’ve never been before) it was cool cuz we were just hanging out and shit. holding each other :) her brother was there :( and another brother??? i don’t know. but she gave me my birthday present :) no not that. she gave me this zippo :) it kicked so much ass. i loved that dream. anyway. oo, i heard from Mr. Bence. he said he got a new pc. cool. maybe he’ll come back to us. i miss that old whacker. so anyway. that’s bout it. glad i updated? i bet you aren’t. 11:04 PM: i don’t feel that great. Amanda is going somewhere and i don’t know where in shit it is. damn. plus i want to talk to Bonnie so bad :( it’s just not good. mandi, wes, jennifer and adam came over today. we (sans the girls) played hero quest while watching A Clockwork Orange. then we played truth or dare. i had to do a striptease :( damn adam. so anyway. then we went to the park but we had to come back cuz mandi’s mom was being “bitchy”. so adam and i fucked with the pc then i took him home. so here i am. i have so much to do. i have to go to the doctor then to guitar. andi might have to get my hair cut. all of this and i don’t know when (if) Bonnie is going to call anytime. aggg. i don’t feel well. the news from Amanda has made me really sad. :( anyway. tonight is going to suck. 11:58 PM: hahaha. here some crazy shit. on icq some girl asked for my pic. so i sent her to this page. well, she hasn’t talked to me since. hahaha. i’m an ugly bastard :) then some guy msg me and said that i smoked too much weed cuz that’s the only way someone can be like me. well, i told him i’ve never smoked any in my life and he said that i should try it. haha. crazy shit on icq man. crazy. i feel kinda better. come join the fun. msg me. i’m bored as shit. and i bet you that i’m online.
Archive for July, 1999
12:05 PM: all the ants! ants are everywhere! o well. i have to go to a funeral today. :( i hate funerals. o well, death happens. she was very old and it’s for the better. i had some wierd dreams last night. one was just me peeing. another was me watching saturday night live at the place, and in between scenes i was gambling on these games they have. i won 2000 bucks! :) the other…..i can’t remember. o well. that’s it. i have to go. noooo, ants! 6:00 PM: ok. 4 hrs of funeral :( damn. but it was interesting. mr. richburg sang there. he kicks ass. and i found out that i (i think) am related to a girl that used to be a guy. wierd eh? you could tell when you looked at her. but she got everything whacked and got a hole poked in so she is a she now. wierd. so anyway. i’m back and sweaty. it was damn hot out there. i’ve been playing this game all the time. i love it. you make machines to get the objective accomplished. if you want it, just ask and i’ll give it to you. but it’s VERY addictive :) so anyway. i’ll be glad when Bonnie calls. it has been 18 days since i’ve heard her voice. i’m going insane. :( o well. she’ll call soon….i hope. i have my cell phone with me all the time in case. but anyway. that’s bout it. i killed all the ants! Mwahaha!!!!! that’s it for now. i’ll update later, but i’m going to play that game now :) 9:24 PM: hehe, lee started playing The Game. and i’m sending it to adam now. Mwahaha! that lvl is fucking hard. i’ve been playing it all the time. i’ve been reading and listening to the radio. haha. he said “here is everclear” and they played aerosmith. o well. though, it pisses me off when they say “here is green day” and play that fatboy slim shit. o well. i love that powerman 5000 song :) so anyway. that’s bout it. i lead a boring life. i miss Bonnie :( adam and lee think they have it bad :) hehe. o well. sadly, i’ll be here later. 11:35 PM: well. i’ve been listening to silverchair for a wihle :) i miss Bonnie. i miss Amanda. i miss Cathy. i miss Jon. i miss alot of people :( o well. i’m bored. i think i’ll RP with adam. i am Erik Necron. hell yea. i want to name my child (i won’t ever have any though) Erik. o well. today has been a long day. boring and hot. shit. o well. tomorrow doesn’t look much better.
1:05 PM: well. i think i’m going to go to bed soon. my stomach feels empty. odd since i’ve been eating alot of food lately. o well. Tool in on the radio :) woohoo.learn to swim. learn to swim. i think i’m going to read a bit more. Necroscope is a great book. i’ll finish it soon. i need to read that mythology book. i doubt i will. tomorrow i’m going to try to get josh to go with me to get a job. i need the money so i can go to canada. if you want me to do a job (whatever it is), just tell me. i’ll do bout anything for money. i think that’s bout it. i’m gone. 2:51 PM: ok. well. i’m up (finally). i had some fucked up dreams. care to hear them? have any choice? right….ok. first one. i was this wizard. andi had this big ass cross cane thing. this vampire was fighting me. we were casting spells and shit. there was this giant in there too. so i hid in my house and put a spell over it. it was a great dream and very detailed. i’ll tell you if you talk to me in person. then i dreampt i was outside with my cellphone. i hit the button to call home and it called someone else. i was like “hello?” and it turned out to be Bonnie :) ok. so then the other one…damn…umm… o yea. almost forgot it. i was at the mall with Amanda and alot of people (assumption: family members). she was getting married and she was trying out her wedding dress. i was there for moral support. haha. then i went around the mall cuz i couldn’t be in the room when you changed and i saw josh and adam walking around. i don’t remember what adam had on, but josh had these short shorts on and a shirt that was very open shirt. he scared me. so anyway. those were my dreams. i think i had more, but i can’t remember. see why i sleep all the time? i have kick ass dreams. i love the fighting one. so anyway. my mom got me a new blazer :( i hate dressing up. i have to go to the visitation tonight. i don’t see much in going to look at a dead person. o well. it’s tradition. i love silverchair. ooo, i saw the new Offspring video last night. it was wierd as hell :) then i saw the Powermen 5000 (i think that’s the name) video. i love them. so it was a fruitfull night. plus i’ve read much in that book. so that’s about it. o, btw, i would like to welcome Wes into the family (as sad as it might be). he e-mailed me. why can’t more people do that? hmmm??? o well. thanks Wes. now i know that 2 people go here. 4:50 PM: ok. i have to go to the funeral place at 5:30. then at 6:30 we’re goign to do something. dunno what. no more maybes. babies got rabies :) thanks Cathy. i keep saying that :( why did you leave though? o well. like she would even go here. body and soul, i’m a freak :) hell yea. so anyway. that’s bout it. i got a happy meal at mcdonald’s. those things are good. i need to put my poster up. i got a blazer, but it doesn’t fit. too tight in the shoulders. i’m a fat man! hell yea. so anyway. i’ll be on later tonight. probally. wait…like i have anything better to do than to update my page. hahaha 11:19 PM: ok. here is what happened. it was one of those nights. lee, josh and adam came over. we played Hero Quest (ooooo) for a while. then adam and i fought over the porn :) i won, but i gave it to him cuz i’m nice. so we took lee home. he had to jump out of our speeding steed. so then we dropped off josh. i was climbing to the front when adam hit the gas and turned. my crotch flew into adam’s shoulder. so we were going home. we decided to stop at the park. adam ran a red light getting there. so we played on the park. i slid down a wet slide and my pants were wet. we spun on the merry go around thing and we got sick. so we went to the other side of the park and played there. adam got on my shoulders for a bit. we climbed this dome and “hung” (:) around there. then adam pushed me on the other merry go around. i almost killed myself. then we swung on the swings. he almost killed me (again). so then we were off to our respective homes. adam was the driver and we drove. it was real country dark. there was the road that we went down. it was really dark. and dirt. and bumpy. i mean holey. so we went all the way down. we locked the doors and rolled up the windows cuz it was scary. so at the end was this fence. we were freaking cuz we didn’t know what was on the other side and we couldn’t turn. but adam managed turning and we hauled ass. so he dropped me off and went home and i began updating this. it was a wonderful evening. tomorrow is going to suck. i have that funeral :( o well. it’s just something that has to be done. i hate when people die. it’s like that story about this guy in business. he died and people went but they though about their own deaths and were sad but left and forgot bout it. but anyway. i’m tired of typing. and i’m sure you want to read all this shit. so i’m gone.
12:02 AM: damn people. this is my msg: “no msgs. i’ll be on later. i don’t feel well”. i had 3 fucking people msg me. one asks me how i’m doing. well, let’s see. shall i go back to the last part of my N/A msg? damn. and people wonder why i hate people. God. i’m so sick of people. everyone is pissing me off. i’m going to go crazy. i’m thinking it’s time to withdraw again. time to go into turtle mode. time to pull my fat neck from the guillitone (sp?). i’m tired of all these people. my head and heart are going to explode, but no one will be there to see it. i love life! 10:27 AM: well. last night was blast. i thought thta my best friend lied to me. well….she did actually. i hate when people lie to me. it makes me sick inside my stomach. it’s one of those things that i can not deal with. i can deal with abandanment as long as the abandoner tells me. i hate when people lie to me. but i should be used to it now. o well. so anyway. i got up at 8 and went to church. i’m back now. i have nothing to do today. i’ll probally just sleep or something. i wish Bonnie was here. i wish i had something to do. o well. back to reading. i’m swapping between One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and The Necroscope. anyway. i’ll shut up, for now. 1:38 PM: i’m not mad at any certain person. i’m just feeling well. i’ve been sleeping for a while. my tooth hurts. i think i slept on it wrong. haha. o well. i’m hungry. Pink Floyd is on the radio. now everclear is on. i can play that song. i don’t know what i’m going to do for today. i’ll probally sleep more. it’s bout all i can do. maybe everything will go away. probally not. 2:48 PM: i didn’t sleep any. i couldn’t. i just don’t feel well. maybe something will happen. i’m slowly going insane. 4:15 PM: well, my great-grandmother died. she was like 90 so it wasn’t a big surprise. she had her leg cut off recently because of some illness in it. so we’ll have a funeral and all. i hope i don’t sound cold. people die. plus she was very old and it was for the better. so what a way to top of today. just piles on and on. it’s all shit. i wish i could have gone to sleep. everything is much simpler when you don’t have to live it. o well. fuck it all. 7:10 PM: what an enjoyable evening. i was relaxing on my bed reading my book. shaun showed up. he didn’t waste any time telling me of his night with a lady. after his verbal demostration of his sexual prowess, he then talked to me about “it”. he wouldn’t even say sex. it’s great. if i didn’t already have no self-esteem, i would take offense to his sayings of “i may do ‘it’ one day”. o well. i really can’t argue with him. i doubt i will. my hand will forever be my lover. o well. so he left and i’m watching the simpsons. what an enjoyable evening. 9:33 PM: well. i talked to josh and lee for a while. man. lee is sad because samantha is gone till friday. i wish i had his problem. we’re going to do something tomorrow. i don’t know what though. i’m fucking bored. i just want to die. there isn’t anything else to do. it’s something to kill the time. pun :) so anyway. i think that’s bout it.
4:00 PM: right right. i’m back again. does anyone care? i leave and poor adam contemplates suicide, lee stops updating his page, and josh….well…josh is josh. so anyway. i left on thrursday around 5:30. i got there at sometime. i bought One Flew Over the Cookoo’s Nest. i haven’t read it yet, but i heard it’s good. so then my sister (shea), my brother-in-law, (jamie), and i (no one) went to eat at this bar thing. it was good. they had good wings. then we went to wal-mart (the hicks paradise) they had the starwars game with the joy stick. you fly and then you become a person. fun game. then we went to their house. it was a long drive. exactly the whole Kill ‘em All album if you want specifics. so we watched tv and played Uno. we quit cuz my sister was cheating. then we went to bed. the next day we went to auburn. auburn is a cool place. first we went to the campus and walked around. then after wasting an two hours while my sis taugh class and whatnot, we went to eat at The Stadium. not bad of a place. then we went walking around. there was this kick ass music place that sold cds for cheap. i got 3 for 14 bucks :) hell yea. so we went to well walmart. and they bough some toliet paper and shit. so we came home. we then rented a couple of movies and bough some food. first we watched Fargo. out of 10: 7. a good movie. then we watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. out of 10: 8. *shrugs* i didn’t understand it, but it kicked ass. i loved that guy. so then we went to sleep. we awoke around 11 (well, i did) then we went and got lunch. so then they feel asleep on the couch and i decided to come home. so i made my escape and it took me an hour and 30 mins to get home. so i came in, checked icq, checked my mail. and here i am. Bonnie has left :( i don’t know when i’ll hear from her again. on a similiar note, lee and adam’s gf are (have) leaving (left). not to be sadistic, but it’s nice to have company :) at least they don’t have to wait a month and (the big thing) when they come home, they come home. i’m still 1200 miles away :( o well. we’ll get by. so that’s bout it. i’ll be on later. my ass hurts from all the driving. it’s good to be back. didn’t you miss me? hahhaha 5:06 PM: well, i finished reading my gampro. i’ve listened to Silverchair. they kick so much ass :) thanks Cathy. :) and the Johnny cd kicks too. and i’m listening to Anthrax. and, of course, they kick ass. it’s a kick ass 14 bucks. so anyway. i miss Bonnie :( i’m tired. i want to rest. but no rest for the weary. 7:14 PM: being away from Bonnie is starting to take it’s course. it’s like a long draining process. o well. God, i hate when i feel like this. there isn’t anything to do. i’ll probally read somemore. maybe. i don’t know. o well. who cares? no one does. i’ll watch the Clapton thing on vh1 later. i’ll probally go to sleep early tonight. or not. i don’t know. i don’t know about anything. 9:54 PM: well, stegui was rumored to be on yahoo, but it just turned out to be a adam and caroline cybering area. o well. good thing i don’t dumb to that pain. i don’t feel that great. it’s like all things are adding up. “the weight of the world is crushing me” i love stabbing westward. i just want to sleep for a while. not to get up for a while. but i’ll have to get up soon and put up this puppet show for all. i really don’t have anything in this life. just Bonnie. and when she’s gone, it just adds all up. fuck it. 11:08 PM: well, i’m on just to update. i’ve been playing my guitar for bout the past hour or so. i have nothing else to do. i don’t feel well. little things add up. all this shit. no escape. o well. sleep well give me a temperary rest. i wish i could sleep forever. everything is perfect in my dreams. but then i have to wake.
NO UPDATE: i was out of town.
12:12 AM: the throbbing won’t go away! aggg. so anyway. i haven’t done shit all day. today i find out if i’m able to go to canada. *crosses fingers*. today i’m going to my sis’s at about 5:30 too. maybe they’ll get me alcohol :) cool. i might go to auburn for college. i don’t know. i love metallica. doesn’t this sound like yesterday’s news? o well. “i’m not depressed, just realistic” :) i love that quote. so anyway. that’s about it. i have nothing more to say. i’m watching conan :) he kicks ass. 1:45 PM: well, i’ve been up for a while talking to josh. i made a 3 on my ap test! woohoo. i passed! umm.i have to shower and shave and shit (alliteration, not really shit). then i’m going to my sis’s. i’m finding out if i can go to canada today. i better. or there might be blood. i’m still in my underwear so i better get going. i’ll update before i leave. how will you live a day without my impotent knowledge? 3:50 PM: ok. if i can get the money; if i had a gf still; if no safety hazards are presen;, i’ll be in canada after christmas :) :) :). my parents have to talk to Bonnie’s parents but that’s no problem. the main thing is i have to get the money up by christmas. that’s going to be tough shit. o well. i’ll try. ok. no more eating. :) clothes? who needs clothes? no more gas, i can walk..naked :) so it’ll be ok. i’m going to my sis’s soon. it’s cool cuz i’m all feeling good today. i have the best gf that i could ever want; i made a 3 on the AP thing; i might be going to canada; and i’m going to my sis’s. pretty cool. so. if i don’t wreck on the way up to troy, i’ll be ok :) hmm..that’s about it. our sewage is stopped or something. i swear, it’s not because all the condoms that are in there :) anyway…..i felt sick on my stomach earlier, but i’m fine now. i got a guitar string too :) i can play again!!!!! woohoo. kick ass man :) i feel great. 5:26 PM: well, i’m going to go. no update tomorrow (probally). i’ll see ya when i get back. I love you Bonnie.
12:00 AM: decided to clean all this shit up. got a new poll. do it damn it! tomorrow i’m not doing anything. i’m talking to Bonnie now so that’s good :) ummm…that’s bout it for now. go check the new page out. i started updating at 12, but i started reading her page and well, time went by :) she’s cool. go check it out. NOW! 1:47 AM: woohoo!! i got to talk to Bonnie for an hour and 20 mins. it kicked so much ass. i really needed to talk to her. so i feel pretty damn good now :) umm…i updated quite a bit :) woohoo. ummm….that’s about it. i’ll be waking up in 12 hrs if you want to talk to me :) i LOVE metallica :) woohoo…hehe. see what talking to Bonnie does to me? i feel the best i have in a while. o well. i’m going to bed on a high. maybe because i just masturbatied a few mins ago helped my high……..probally. it usually does. bedways is rightways now, so best we go homeways and get a bit of spatchka. see ya later. 3:38 PM: i have to make sure i get the am and pm things right. well, i’ve been up for a while. i just don’t feel like doing anything today. i’m going to lie around and read and listen to Metallica. i’m going to put up a couple awards i’ve gotten. i hope no one comes over or calls. i don’t feel like talking to people. damn i think somone just came over. i’m not talking. anyway. that’s about it. i just don’t feel very sociable right now. i feel ok. just not sociable. that’s about it. i’ll be on later today. probally. 9:35 PM: i just got on the pc for the real first time since i awoke. i have done nothing today. i finished reading A Wrinkle in Time. good book. i watched Daria (sp?) she’s cool :) and i take the 5th on saying if she is sexy or not. it might get me in trouble. well, this time tomorrow i won’t be here. i’ll be at my sister’s. we’re going out to eat then we’re going to auburn the next day. tomorrow i’ll find out if i can go to canada. it’s kinda scary thinking about going. but o well. damn my heart! this vein in my head won’t stop beating. it’s driving me crazy. it’s wierd cuz you can see it beat. aggg. o well. i watch a improv show on abc. funny shit man. no one understands the concept of N/A. especially when i say that i’m not here and i don’t want to talk to anyone. sheesh. i had like 5 msgs. i’m not here! the only reason i was on was in case Bonnie came on. but she didn’t :( “lame” relatives are over as i type. i think i’m going to be sick……..i just went to someone’s page and it hasn’t fully loaded. o well. that’s it for now.
2:15 AM: well. kyle and ashley just left. ok. so kyle, ashley and i went bowling. we did ok. i saw Tiffany there. she got married after school. i didn’t do well bowling. i’ll give the specs later. after that we went to mcdonald’s and i got a happy meal :) then we went to the school park and played there for a bit. it was cool cuz they have all this shit to play with. then we went to the town park. it sucked ass. so then we came over to my house. we watched A Clockwork Orange. i don’t think ashley got it. she’s pretty cool tthough. she isn’t as uptight as i thought. i got to 2nd base with her without trying. haha. but i got called out cuz i skipped first. she liked to slap my ass…o well. we’re just friends. i have a gf and she doesn’t like me like that. speaking of gfs….i still feel bad about Bonnie. i really don’t know why. i don’t know. fuck. anyway. i have to get up at 11:30 tomorrow morning :( that sucks ass. i better go. my hand feels wierd. i did the cologne/flame trick for ashley. i sprayed my hand down with cologne, the ignited it. i love it. it feels so good. but now it stinks and i have no hair there :( o well. fire fire fire is fun. then i thought i would bang my head on the floor. the second time, i got dizzy. i’ve found something else to pass the time with. :( damn. i still feel bad. it’s like a roller coaster. o well. i’m going to bed. maybe tomorrow will be a better day. it can’t get much wierder than today. well…i mean maybe today will be a better day, it can’t be much wierded than yesterday. i miss my guitar string 12:21 PM: damn josh and adam. they are staring at me as i type. i got up at 11:30 but hit the snooze. i would have slept much later but i was too damn lazy to set it any more. so i just got up. i took a shower and josh and adam walked in when i was pulling my underwear up. so they almost got a show. so we have to go to the school :( then i’ll be back and doing nothing. fun fun. 2:03 PM: i went to richie’s house, but he wouldn’t open the door. he was there cuz the car was there. o well. i left my shit there. he better read it. ok. that’s about it. 5:32 PM: well. adam came over and i watched bastard. out of 10: 9. it was a great movie. so anyway. i heard from Bonnie :) that’s about all the news i have. nothign really great. my bowling scores were 59; 119; 101. i was ok. 7:42 PM: i’m going to clean the page up tomorrow. or tonight. i’ll do another poll too. time for a sprucing. that’s about it. i’m looking at pics of when chad and jessica came down.
12:57 PM: i don’t feel that great. i got to talk to Bonnie last night. that was good. i really miss her :( umm…today i’m going bowling, as i’ve mentioned before. i got a letter from Bonnie today. and i got my Damned in Flames from Fear Factory :) so today is going to be wierd. hopefully fun. 2:31 PM: damn me to hell. :( i was talking to Bonnie and i went to brush my teeth and she had to leave :( i fucked up. i should have just talked. she was about to leave. but i’m an asshole. i don’t think. i don’t get to talk to her much :( she should just leave me. she can do better. 4:55 PM: why does she want to go out with me anyway? i have nothing going for me. i have no looks (God, i am ugly), no abilities. not much of a future. o well. i still think she can do better, but thank God, she wants me. i love her so much. adam, 2 girls (i don’t know their names) and caroline came by…then they left. we tried to watch A Clockwork Orange, but didn’t. o well. and adam and caroline started making out again :( God, i hate when they do that. i don’t know if we’re going bowling. i want to talk to Bonnie :( o well. fuck me. i’m gone. 6:10 PM: wierd shit man. wierd shit. Bonnie’s cuz came online for the big minute i didn’t get to talk to her :( kyle and i are going bowling tonight. i think ashley is going. o well. i have Metallica in my cd player :) i told you i get on those kicks. …And Justice for All, Reload, and Ride The Lightning. i hate when i feel like this :( o well. what can i do? it hailed (i think). stormed a bit. i know 7:00 PM: i feel like shit. well, no. shit has it better.
